Behind the scenes of DFW
by Zelda12343
Summary: Backstory to Dear Fanfiction Writers TOS style; helps if you've read that first? There are also references to TOS Truth or Dare; helps if you've read that too. Exactly why did the characters write the letters-and how were they roped into it in the first place?


**Introduction**

**Author's note: **_Here it is, as promised: the backstory to the letters written in my smash hit _Dear Fanfiction Writers TOS Style! _I hope you guys enjoy this and I am really sorry about the delay._

_If anyone has title suggestions, PLEASE tell me. I'm very dissatisfied with the current title. I would also appreciate if someone were willing to make a cover, as I am a pathetic artist. Anyone who wants to will receive credit for their admirable efforts. Thanks!_

* * *

James T. Kirk and company were going about their typical business one day, totally unaware of how their lives were about to be totally changed.

Well, they were aware until Kirk vanished off the bridge entirely, leaving only a confounded crew and a very empty chair.

"Captain!" cried Uhura, while Chekov and Sulu exchanged a shocked look. Spock, in the meantime, remained completely unpreturbed. Whether it was because situations such as these were common on the Enterprise or because he was a Vulcan wasn't clear, though it was probably both.

Oh well. He'd probably turn up soon enough.

* * *

As this was going on on the bridge, Kirk found himself completely unharmed standing in a room full of light. Had he died and gone to heaven for no apparent reason? After all, he'd ONLY been sitting in his chair and was in fairly good health in spite of some poor eating habits. Perhaps an alien race desired an audience. Again. Why was it always him anyway? Surely there were other captains who ran into the same sort of thing.

He could barely make a figure walking towards him, only discernible because of the huge contrast between it and the lights. Perhaps this figure was some sort of angel. At the very least, perhaps this person could explain what the hell was going on. Yeah, perhaps that would be better than an angel. Even a beautiful female one similar in age to him. Come to think of it, beautiful females similar in age to him were surprisingly common in situations like this. Hmm. He'd have to ask Spock about the statistical implications of all that. Assuming he wasn't dead, of course.

The figure came closer, and as it did so, Kirk realized that the figure was too short to be a woman of his own age. Perhaps it was an angel, then. Kirk could barely make out a long skirt and…something in the figure's back.

Then the figure came closer, and Kirk screamed like a little girl.

The figure was no angel. It was Zelda12343, an authoress who Kirk figured was one of the most evil, or at least most insane, people he knew. She was not even canonical, but had already terrorized the cast of TOS worse than any villain they'd ever faced. Even KHAN was terrified of her. Even _Chekov_ (whom she went easy on due to a longtime crush on him) was scared of her a bit, and she never did anything mean to him due to said crush.

"Hey," she said with a wide grin at the now-shaking captain. "What's up with you?"

"Please tell me I'm dead and you're just visiting me," whimpered the typically badass Kirk.

"Oh, man up. You're not dead and I don't have my tablet with me," she replied. Kirk instantly calmed down. Zell was nothing without her tablet laptop. "I exchanged it for my iPhone and iPad anyway. That's where I write from now," she continued. "I can torture you from absolutely any place or time, including from the train I'm currently on leaving Florence, Italy." Kirk was suspicious once more, but decided to man up as she suggested. Besides, he was curious.

"Well, where am I if not dead?" he asked. "I mean, why the lights?"

"Oh, that?" she shrugged and waved her hand dismissively. The lights instantly dimmed, and it was revealed that the two were in a normal room. "Special effects," she explained lightly. "Kapi helps me with those."

"Kapi?" Kirk asked. "There's another of you?" he'd only met three other authoresses, all completely terrifying in every way.

"Yep," Zell grinned. A girl with bright purple hair who was standing by the wall waved merrily at him. "She's my sister."

"Now why have you brought me here?" he demanded.

"There's something you and the other crew members of the Enterprise should know about," Kapi spoke up. She already sounded much nicer than Zell. "We need to tell you the truth of why we can interact with you and the other people in your universe even though we are of a different time and place completely."

"You are?" Kirk asked surprise. So Zell was another of those aliens from another universe? Suddenly she wasn't so scary after all. He could deal with those with his eyes closed.

"We'll explain as soon as everyone else gets here," Zell added, clapping her hands. "And before you ask, the reason you're here first is because you're the captain. Duh."

Suddenly, everyone else in canon appeared. Not just pretty much everyone seen in more context than walking by once or twice in the hall on the Enterprise, but others too. Khan and all of his followers, many of Kirk's loves, Natira and her people, Klingons and Romulans, a mound of tribbles, and the space hippies were all there. Characters from the movies were there too even though the crew of the Enterprise was still in its TV form, complete with the cheesy uniforms.

"Back off, bitch! he's mine!" Zell shrieked at Irina Galiulen, who happened to be standing next to Chekov. She edged away, clearly thinking Zell was insane. The authoress then threw herself at Chekov, forcing Kapi to take over for her otherwise occupied companion.

"You're all here because of the power of fanfiction," she explained. "It's an occurrence that happens thanks to the fact that all of you aren't real."

"What?" Khan gasped. "So all of my attempts to kill James T. Kirk are worth nothing?"

"You mean I don't exist?" Kevin Riley complained.

"What about me?" inquired Ryan Tyler.

"You're just an OC. You wouldn't even exist in their universe if it hadn't been for me. Good thing too, you're a complete a-hole who only exists to be an a-hole with no life," Zell explained, then turned back to her tight hug with Chekov.

"So how can we be involved if I'm not real?" Chekov wondered.

"1) Because I have no life, and 2) thanks to fanfiction," Zell replied. "And don't worry, I don't care that you aren't real."

"What's fanfiction?" asked Sulu.

"It's stories fans of your series can write either to tailor your universe to their own liking or pay tribute to it. And both of us do things like that on a site called fan-fiction dot net, where thousands of others do the same," Kapi explained.

"There are THOUSANDS of you?" Kirk cried in horror.

"Not all obsessed with your universe, no. But there are quite a few who are. Don't worry, very few attack you guys like I do," Zell grinned.

"So the last time you were involved in our affairs (and made me look like an ass), it was one such fan-fiction?" Khan asked.

"Yup," Zell replied. "Every time I'll ever mess with you will be through fanfiction."

"Anyhow, the whole point of bringing you here was to make you aware of this. Here, in this place, you'll be able to read exactly what's being written about you," Kapi added. "We figured it would be only right that you knew exactly what was happening."

"What if we don't like what's being written about us?" McCoy asked.

"Well, technically, in some other continuity, you might love something like that. Besides, everyone should be free to write whatever the hell they want. But if you really do not like something, write a letter to the offending party. Make it as short as possible, please. You might offend someone. Which is also why you will only address it to fanfiction writers, NOT to anyone specific," Zell instructed. "Now I'll get you settled here, where you'll stay while you make yourself familiar with fanfictions. And NO ONE is sharing a room. Yes, I'm looking at you, Kirk. No girls in your room with you."

"At what point will we return to our homes? It is not logical to keep us like this," Spock wondered.

"As soon as I say," Zell replied. "Now come on, everyone! Let's get this party STARTED!"

* * *

**Author's note: **_I want to let everyone reading this know that this fanfiction is only a stab at humor. It is not an attack on any kind of fanfiction. Even if I don't necessarily like a type of fanfiction, I have no problem with others writing it as long as they warn readers EXACTLY what's in the story. That being said, I hope I get no flames from people who support different types of fanfiction (i.e couples not supported in this story) complaining that I'm bashing them. Clear?  
_

_And now for an interesting story. Maybe. A portion of my travels this summer took place in Venice. I took a train from Rome to Venice, and two of the stops on the way were Florence and Bologna. I wrote the entirety of this between them. As well as looking out at the countryside. Man, that place is gorgeous._

_Ah, sorry to rant. Anyways, I hope you liked it. Even if you didn't, I want to hear your opinions. It'll take you less than a minute, while writing all of this took me an hour and a half._

_Have fun with the story!_


End file.
